What does it mean to be open to being imperfect and why I decided to make it my “Why”? We are all wonderfully imperfect, and, yet as hard as that is to believe we still spend most of our lives searching for perfection and acceptance.
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown
I know I am a perfectionist, and I can see the patterns that have existed in me from the time I was a little girl.
I was the little girl who used competition to determine her own self worth and it led me on a continual path seeking perfectionism. I grew up with a stifled feeling of entrapment around being free to be fully me, and my only avenue for self-expression became through various sports, and competition subsequently became a way of life.
With every achievement, I internalised this as personal validation that I was good enough. So from then onwards sport became a big part of my life and my identity was wrapped up in it. My achievements gave me personal fulfilment, but with every knock my confidence would take a hit and my self worth would take a tumble, so I would search for ways to be better. But the victories became harder and harder to achieve, and quitting was never an option, as the victories were the only ways I had to feel as if I had something to offer. The day I finished school, was the day I decided to leave home, and the day all the competing stopped, I was exhausted from the competition!
I then decided on my next step and it was not competing in sport. I had set my heart on becoming a Fashion designer. This was for me the ticket I needed to step into the label of “Designer”, and a pass to being as creative as I wanted, without the worry of being different, I wanted to explore who I was through art and design. Self-expression was encouraged, and the more different you were the more successful your designs became.
But sadly the many years of trying to fit in earlier, had left me in a heap of confusion with not only how to be myself but how to be different. I was struggling to deeply and authentically connect with that part of me that had been lost. My designs were boxy and masculine! Sadly my frustration ultimately kicked in and I quit.
It wasn’t until after I got married, and purchased our first home was I able to recognise that through creating and designing my home, I was able to freely express and surround myself with my own version of what I loved and what reflected a part of me. Through transforming my home, I encountered a lost part of myself. This led me on a new path into interior design.
Over the years to follow to feed my thirst for design and self-expression, I went on to complete numerous design courses and continued my design and styling jobs, but that need for validation was still with me! This led me to enter an international design competition, and although I won I was still having an inner struggle with who I was and what I wanted. I was still not giving myself the permission to be myself.
Five years ago, I eventually reached a turning point, and I decided no more! Every decision there onwards was about reconnecting with who I was. I wanted more for myself! I wanted to feel fully expressed, more empowered and more aligned to be working in an area that I loved. I started visualising the person I wanted to become, I wanted to be fitter, healthier and have the beautiful home that reflected what I REALLY loved, and I wanted a wardrobe to reflect the more confident person I was becoming. Whilst on my journey of self-acceptance, what changed was me getting ultra clear with who I was, what I wanted, what my version of success was and to give myself permission to go for it.
I de-cluttered my home and my life. I chose to be selective with how I would live my life and the choices I would make; I chose to only have things I truly and deeply loved, and I now finally feel free with how I present myself through my home, my wardrobe and my business. I am clearer with what my personal essence is, my business is moving closer to being in alignment with this and I am feeling more excited than ever to show others how it doesn’t have to be so hard. I am still on this journey and find that the awareness I have now, is making my decisions and choices so much easier to make. I now choose to show up with more energy and passion, as the alternative is not worth revisiting.
My years of experience and knowledge in design have helped me give back to others in ways I had been wanting for myself. I have created so many beautiful spaces and I have designed and dressed so many people. Looking back I have given so many people the opportunity for self-expression I felt I never had, but in hindsight had always been there. Through my love of design and having my own business I now share my insights with how others can show up with more energy and passion to create the most aligned, heart centred brands. Just as a house can become a home through introducing the owners personality so can your business become a reflection of who you are.
Our minds are powerful! Our thoughts are powerful!
It is important to remember…
That we are enough!
Embrace your value!
Your imperfections are loveable!
Every beautiful journey and inspiring transformation begins with an intention and a decision to move in the direction of where you hope to be.